Christopoulos:Joke
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SCP-XXXX-J One bad motherfucker. Information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton. Disparaging remarks about your mother. Michael Jordon On Ice. [TRUNCATED FOR BREVITY]

Item #: SCP-XXXX-J

Object Class: Safe Keter Neutralized Keter Thaumiel Keter Apollyon Neutralized Ticonderoga Decommissioned Netzach Archon [TRUNCATED FOR BREVITY]

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX-J is contained in a standard item locker in Site-17. currently uncontained. uncontainable. contained in a standard humanoid containment chamber in Site-36. 36,000,000 light years from Earth, and containment is therefore unnecessary. currently uncontained. must be destroyed as soon as possible. contained inside a 5 liter stainless steel mixing bowl. [TRUNCATED FOR BREVITY]

Description: [TRUNCATED FOR BREVITY]

Addendum-01: Note from Junior Researcher St. Carlo

Going to be honest here. This anomaly object phenomenon individual O5 Council member pasta [TRUNCATED FOR BREVITY]

FOR FUCK'S SAKE MAN. I can't write five words about it her the moon and stars HIM your mom [TRUNCATED FOR BREVITY]

Why the fuck won't they let me transfer?! I'm just locked in here with a pristine copy of Moby Dick by Herman Melville a small green-blue gemstone with the capability of autonomous flight the Islamic Republic of Eastern Samothrace [TRUNCATED FOR BREVITY]

God fucking damn it, man. I just wanna go home.