Anti-Weed Mascot Skating Platypus Archer

rating: 0+x
Item#: 5420
Level4
Containment Class:
esoteric
Secondary Class:
thaumiel
Disruption Class:
keneq
Risk Class:
warning

plat.png

Early depiction of SCP-5420, circa 1380.

Special Containment Procedures: rewrite: give demons weed, have the platypus murder them, amnestized civilian witnesses

Due to the inability to more permanently contain SCP-5420, and the benefit of its actions towards Foundation goals, no action is to be taken against SCP-5420 at this time. Should this change, SCP-5420 is to be regarded as a Keneq-Class hostile entity.

Foundation agents embedded within underground circles with known demonic affiliations are to provide them with a steady supply of cannabis for potential SCP-5420 neutralization. [Wording here is a bit weird but can't think of anything else right now]

Description: SCP-5420 is an Ashmedai-class demonic entity physically manifesting as the cardinal sin of Wrath [i don't totally understand why he's a wrath demon, wrath is more based around anger and he's not really characterized (to me at least) as angry in that sense][I get that, but I was thinking since he was originally brought up to deal with criminals, he adopted the other definition of Wrath. Punishment for the offense of a crime.] SCP-5420 superficially resembles a bipedal platypus without front legs and is capable of speaking semi-coherent English. In place of upper limbs, SCP-5420 uses mild telekinetic abilities to manipulate is surroundings.

SCP-5420 possesses a wooden longbow, several arrows, and 1300-era wooden ice skates. These skates have been shown to frictionlessly glide across all surfaces at speeds of approximately 50 kph. Recent manifestations of SCP-5420 have shown it wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses.

SCP-5420 will irregularly manifest accompanied by a large burst of irradecent flame within the city of Las Vegas, Nevada, USA. [what if instead of just appearing, he's always there and just searching for people using weed diligently and constantly][I feel like if he didn't manifest, they wouldn't let him go kill demons. His thaumiel class is more of "We can't really keep it in check, so at least it's killing demons for us] Upon manifestation, SCP-5420 will attempt to locate the nearest entity(s) currently using marijuana, recreationally or otherwise. Once the entity(s) are located, SCP-5420 will use its weapon to terminate the individuals.

Individuals impacted with SCP-5420's projectiles will experience immediate combustion, reaching temperatures of up to 982°C. This combustion will only effect the individual, and will not cause damage to the surroundings. Notably, these projectiles have been observed to affect Tartarean-class demonic entities, despite their natural resistance to extreme heat. [due to it being undervegas, we could just say it sends them to hell outright without beating around the bush][Be my guest, I just couldn't word it in a good way while justifying how the Foundation knew they were going back to Hell instead of just immolating like the rest.]During SCP-5420's assault, the entity will attempt to dissuade individuals from continuing to use marijuana though pop culture references and attempts at relatable humor. Despite this, no record exists of SCP-5420 failing to terminate a targeted individual.

Once all offending individuals have been terminated, SCP-5420 will demanifest.

History Early documentation of SCP-5420 suggests that the entity was most active during the early 14th century, during which it manifested in response to the recreational use of opium, and was mainly present in current-day Europe. Based on recovered documents, it is currently believed that SCP-5420 was exorcised from the area by N-GoI-006 ("Demonic Acolyte Repentance Enforcement")1 in 1387 after terminating an estimated 400 civilians. SCP-5420 remained contained until the events of January 12th, 1992 when activity resumed.

Addendum 5420.1: rewrite, keep some aspects for later interviews

After multiple failed attempts to purposefully cause a manifestation of SCP-XXXX by encouraging marijuana use within D-Class ranks, SCP-XXXX successfully manifested at Site-15 and was interviewed for the first time, with attempts being made to capture the entity for long-term containment.

INTERVIEW LOG


Interviewed: SCP-XXXX

Interviewer: Researcher Charlotte Mehr

Foreword: Mehr was instructed to buy as much time as possible until proper containment could be implemented.


[BEGIN LOG]

Mehr: Hello?

SCP-XXXX: (Shoots arrow at D-Class.) DAB! DAB! Epic kill! Do you know how many dangerous chemicals are in weed yo? It does more damage than a Golden Scar! DAB! DAB!

Mehr: Excuse me?

SCP-XXXX: Grumpy Cat doesn't do weed, why should you? (Shoots another D-Class.)

Mehr: Wait, what do you mean by that?

SCP-XXXX: Listen, gamer girl, you gotta get with the times. I did, and I'm way more successful now. Look how much I'm appealing to the kids now! (Shoots another D-Class.)

Mehr: So are you just referencing things?

SCP-XXXX: Yeah you noob, why you all up in my grill? DAB! DAB!

Mehr: Well, what makes you think that doing this is helping anyone?

SCP-XXXX: Girl gamer, this is super helpful. When I was thrown back into hell by those not-so-epic trolls, I really thought to myself how I could improve my job. And I found the way and became an epic guy like Chuck Norris, who ALSO DOESN'T DO WEED! (Shoots another D-Class.) So I start learning how all the kiddos act, and then I rode the Nyan Cat down The River Styx and got back in the game like a boss! (To fleeing D-Class.) HEY YOU! Quit chilling in Weed-ar Rapids! (Shoots D-Class.) DAB! Man, I wish I had arms, that would make this a lot easier!

Mehr: Uh, you aren't giving these people the opportunities to improve their habits if you just kill them. How are they supposed to stop smoking if th-

SCP-XXXX: They won't though ecks-dee, they will keep uh, bottle flipping? Wait no, uh… they'll just keep yeeting the weeds into their mouths! Yeah! No matter what you do! I just gotta teach them to say no in Hell at least!

Mehr: But you, you aren't really acting cool. How about you just calm d-

SCP-XXXX: Me? Not cool?

Mehr: (Pause.) Yes, why do you think you're acting cool?

SCP-XXXX: Well I- uh, I just am.

Mehr: You don't seem very cool to me personally.

SCP-XXXX: What? I'm cooler than you for sure! Your mama is so not cool, she- uh, she’s the Sun!

Mehr: That wasn't very funny.

SCP-XXXX: You mad bro? (Shoots another D-Class.) Your mama so fat, s-

(On-Site MTF reaches SCP-XXXX and attempts to incapacitate it with nerve gas. Mehr retreats.)

SCP-XXXX: That wasn't very cash money of you.

(SCP-XXXX fires at a canister of nerve gas held by an MTF member, killing him and severely injuring several others. SCP-XXXX fires at several other canisters until the entire squadron is either terminated or incapacitated before turning to face a wall-mounted security camera.)

SCP-XXXX: (Spontaneously manifests a second pair of sunglasses, which rest above the preexisting pair on SCP-XXXX's eyes.) Deal with it.

(SCP-XXXX demanifests.)

[END LOG]

Ok important note. When it manifests during the undercover thing it needs to be wearing Heelys instead of skates.


Tags: _image animal co-authored fire hostile humanoid keter phenomena religious sapient scp sentient telekinetic teleportation uncontained