Tyumen:flesh-dimension

Hello.

You're probably wondering how to finish this article, if you've already read it — and rest assured, I had the same problem. It's the very reason why I had to turn this in for draft swap, after all.

The main idea of this was that, for some reason, William Howard Taft inadvertently let several gallons of flesh drain away into an alternate (and much smaller) universe every day, based on the urban myth that Taft once got stuck in his bathtub. The weakening of spacetime caused by the President's amateur thaumaturgy allowed people from timelines other than the one in which this article takes place (members of the Royal Containment and Protection Initiative, for example) explore this dimension. Of course, you may or may not want to keep these plot points — it's up to you — but I feel like the very premise of this article lends itself better to comedy than any other genre, and what I currently have should serve as a decent framework for your own angle on this.

However, I won't try to wrest control from your hands. At the end of the day, you can add or remove whatever you want from this — it'll probably make it a better article, too.

I can't wait to see where you take this.

~Tyumen

Special Containment Procedures: Due to its immovable nature, the space surrounding SCP-TAFT has been enclosed with chain-link fencing. The road upon which SCP-TAFT is present has been closed to the public.

Due to its proximity to Site-75 (5 minutes by car), construction of a site dedicated to study of SCP-TAFT is unnecessary.

Description: SCP-TAFT is a Class-C "Broken Entry" wormhole contained within a pothole in an unnamed road south of Raymond, Alberta, Canada. The wormhole acts as an entrance to an alternate reality, hereby designated SCP-TAFT-1.

The opposite end of SCP-TAFT is positioned in what appears to be an alternate version of early 20th century North America. The opposite end of the wormhole is positioned 7.5 meters above the ground and is in close proximity to Petersburg, Virginia. Several more wormholes are hypothesized to exist within SCP-TAFT-1, implied by the encounter of several members of a Foundation-anologous organization believed to be native to another alternate reality¹ during preliminary exploration.

The northwest portion of the United States within SCP-TAFT-1 is covered in a large² mass of amorphous flesh (designated SCP-TAFT-2). Samples of this mass are genetically identical to human biological material.

Unmanned drone exploration of SCP-TAFT has found the origin of SCP-TAFT-2 to be an upwelling above Washington, D.C. By digging into the flesh, Foundation agents were able to uncover a Class-C wormhole similar to SCP-TAFT (designated SCP-TAFT-3) within the floor of the White House. This wormhole extrudes approximately 1,000 kiloliters of human flesh every day at 9 PM, Eastern Standard Time.

Addendum XXX-1: Manned Exploration Log

Personnel Involved: Exploration specialists Tyler Umen, Markus Peterson, and Rebecca Esch
Anomaly Explored: SCP-TAFT-1
Date: March 5, 20██

<BEGIN LOG>

Umen: Right. I think we're recording, now.

Peterson: You don't have to say that every time you start a recording, you know.

Esch: I guess it's better than awkward silence. (She turns to face SCP-TAFT) Anyway, we going in or what?

(Using a winch, an assistant on-site lowers the three researchers into SCP-TAFT. Upon reaching the ground, Researcher Esch turns and views SCP-TAFT-2.)

Esch: Jesus, that thing's bigger than I thought it'd be.

Umen: (He turns to face SCP-TAFT-2) We're more than 100 kilometers from that, right?

Esch: Yeah.

Peterson: And we're supposed to walk all the way there? Sometimes I wish we didn't have to "blend in" when dealin' with this shit.

Esch: We've got more than enough supplies to last us two months, and there's bound to be a few inns on the way. It could be worse.

(The three start to walk towards SCP-TAFT-2. Extraneous data has been removed.)

(Approximately 15 kilometers away from SCP-TAFT, two armed men in modern tactical gear emerge from a ditch at the side of the road. The first man greets the researchers.)

Man 1: Hello. Are you…do you live around here?

Umen: Hi. Uh, we don't. We're a bit like you, in that regard.

Man 2: Are you with the UIU?

Esch: Oh, no. We're with the SCP Foundation. How about you?

Man 1: Hmm…doesn't ring a bell. We're with the RCPI.

Umen: The what?

Man 1: Royal Containment and Protection Initiative.

Umen: Huh, that doesn't ring a bell. Well, we're glad to meet you nonetheless. The name's Tyler, but you can call me Ty. (He gestures at Peterson and Esch) This is Markus, and that's Rebecca.

Man 1: Charmed. I'm Oliver, this is Aarav, and that bloke struggling to get out of the hole and join us is Harry.

Harry: Quit yacking and help me out, will you? (He struggles to pull himself out of the hole before he is seemingly pushed from below, causing him to cry out. He exits the ditch and lies in a fetal position, clutching his groin.) He got my nads!

Aarav: Oh, get up. You're being unprofessional.

Peterson: Well, uh…It's nice to meet you guys. (He points toward SCP-TAFT-2) We're heading towards that, to research it - care to join us?

Oliver: We'd be glad to. The more the merrier, right?

Esch: (To Peterson, whispered) We just met these people! We can't just let them -

Peterson: Fine. Let's get moving. (Esch rolls her eyes)

Oliver: Hold on, let's wait a moment. (Three motorcycles emerge from the ditch, which are taken by Oliver, Harry, and Aarav.)

Peterson: Uh…

Aarav: Here, get on. There's room for two on these beasts.

Umen: Not to be rude, but we're in the early 1900s. It'd help to blend in.

Peterson: I suppose a bike ride couldn't hurt. And it's really gonna cut down on the time it'll take us to get to TAFT-2.

Oliver: Not to mention that they did have motorcycles in the early 1900s. I think. (He pats the side of his motorcycle)

Umen: Fair enough, fair enough. Rebecca, let's just go along for now.

Esch: Fine.

Harry: Jolly good. Let's go!

(Umen, Peterson, and Esch board the motorcycles, and the party continues towards SCP-TAFT-2.)

Oliver: So, what's your organization like? I mean - what sort of things do you do, other than this?

Peterson: Oh, not much. It's mostly paperwork, to be honest. I'm lucky to be in the department I'm in - gives me a chance to get outside, you know?

Harry: That doesn't sound too fun.

Aarav: Yeah, mate. At the RCPI pretty much all of our work is like this. We've got to get to the anomalies to contain them, don't we?

Umen: Must be a difference in culture, then. The SCP Foundation's more focused on containment - we usually send D-Classes or MT- er, Mobile Task Forces out on missions like this.

Oliver: You've got D-men, too?

Umen: Oh, yeah, of course! Our organizations are basically two different versions of the same thing, after all.

Oliver: Right, right. I've already met a ton of people like you - people from different versions of our organization, that is.

(The party rides on. Extraneous data has been removed.)

Oliver: Right, it looks like we're coming up on it. (He sniffs the air) That's odd. It doesn't smell.

Peterson: Yeah, you'd expect a massive pile of meat to at least start to rot after a while.

(An elderly man can be seen on body camera footage kneeling next to SCP-TAFT-2, cutting large pieces off of it, and putting them in a basket. Researcher Esch approaches him.)

Esch: Hello.

Man: Oh, good mornin' to you miss. Don't think I've seen you folks around here before.

Esch: Oh, we're just visiting. From, uh…Canada.

Man: Lemme guess - y'all came here to gawk at this here thing, didn't you? (He gestures at SCP-TAFT-2.)

Harry: I mean…what else would we be doing here? (The man squints)

Man: You ain't from Canada, are you? (His gaze softens) Well, that's just fine. It don't matter where you're actually from, anyway. So long as you ain't with one of them meat-packing companies. (He spits)

Harry: Meat-packing companies? You mean you eat this? (Oliver elbows him in the stomach)

Man: Sure, we do. What else would we do with it? (He shows them his basket, which is filled with pieces of SCP-TAFT-2) My family ain't gone hungry since this'ere hunk of meat came along, and I ain't lettin' no Yankee meat-packers take that away from me. It's on my property!

Esch: About that - when exactly did this (She gestures at SCP-TAFT-2) emerge?

Man: Last June. That's when the papers started goin' crazy about it, anyway. Apparently, it flooded all of Washington, DC. (He pauses) The president and Congress all ended up under it - I say good riddance to bad rubbish. (He laughs. Harry and Aarav snicker, stopping when Oliver turns and glares at them. The man continues speaking.) Well, it wasn't 'til last month that it reached my land, and it's been growin' a bit ever since. (He points toward his house, which is behind them) It's probably gonna get to my house, eventually. Haven't really planned for when that happens.

Esch: Well, thanks for taking the time to talk with us.

Man: No problem, no problem. (The man turns, and continues to cut pieces from SCP-TAFT-2)

Peterson: Well. We've got to get to Washington, right? We gonna climb this thing, or what?

Oliver: I suppose. Maybe we could… (He lifts his motorcycle and begins to roll it onto SCP-TAFT-2.)

Esch: Absolutely not. That probably isn't gonna be able to support our-

(Harry, who has walked his motorcycle to the top of SCP-TAFT-2, speaks)

Harry: It's safe! Don't worry!

(Oliver and Aarav look up at him, then back at Esch, Peterson, and Umen)

Oliver: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!

Umen: I suppose it couldn't hurt to cut a few hours off our initial schedule.

Peterson: Yeah. It's an advantage no matter how you frame it. (He points his thumb at Aarav and Oliver, who are beginning to walk their motorcycles to the top of SCP-TAFT-2.) I think we can trust these guys.

Esch: (She puts her palm against her face) Fine.

(Esch, Peterson, and Umen join Oliver, Harry and Aarav at the top of SCP-TAFT-2 and ride on. Extraneous data has been removed.)

Peterson: All right, here we are. (The party approaches a large hole within SCP-TAFT-2. The camera placed there by a drone expedition the day before is visible beside the hole, and SCP-TAFT-3 is visible at the hole's bottom. Peterson looks at his watch.) Lucky, we made it before the, uh…

Esch: Before the flesh is set to come out?

Peterson: Yeah, yeah. Shall we?

Harry: Shall we…what? We're not going in there, are we?

Aarav: What, are you scared? (He and Oliver laugh)

Harry: What? No, I -

Esch: Settle down and get serious. We are going in there, but we've got to be careful -

Oliver: Jump in if you're not a ninny! (He pokes Harry with the end of his gun. Harry glares at him)

Harry: Don't mind if I do!

(Harry jumps into the hole and disappears within SCP-TAFT-3. Esch, Umen and Peterson rush to the side of the hole as Aarav and Oliver laugh. Harry's voice can be heard from the other end of SCP-TAFT-3.)

Harry: It's safe!

Oliver: You heard him, let's go in. (He jumps into SCP-TAFT-3, followed by Aarav. Peterson shrugs his shoulders and jumps in after them, followed by Umen. Esch sighs, rolls her eyes, and carefully climbs into the hole after them.)

(Esch emerges from the other end of SCP-TAFT-3 feet-first, and stands up. The party is within an enclosed space with smooth, seamless white walls and flooring. Several large thaumaturgic symbols are carved into the walls near SCP-TAFT-3. The space has no visible ceiling, and the sky above it is yellowish in coloration. Umen and Harry are kneeling beside Aarav, who is clutching his head. Esch approaches Peterson, who is standing in the center of the space and looking up. She removes a tachyonic wayfinder³ from her belt and takes a reading.)

Esch: Well, this is unexpected. We're in timeline A-001 - our timeline.

Peterson: We're back home, then?

Esch: Not exactly. It's still the 1910s. (She looks around) Question is, where are we?

(Harry approaches them, holding his cell phone in the air)

Harry: I'm trying to open Google maps, but I can't seem to get a signal. Sorry.

Esch: Uh…

(The party is interrupted by the appearance of a massive humanoid entity wearing only a towel around its waist at the side of the construct. Harry, Aarav and Oliver aim their firearms at it, and Esch, Peterson and Umen simply look up. The entity bends down, placing its hands on the edge of the wall — it is identical to 27th American President William Howard Taft.)

Taft: Wh-what on Earth? Are these — Nellie! Did you leave these toys in my bathtub?

Footnotes

1. See Addendum TAFT-1

2. Approximately 1.5 million square kilometers in area

3. An apparatus used to determine which timeline its user is in, used in extradimensional travel