Work Sucks, I Know
#page-content .collapsible-block { 
    position: relative;
    padding: 0.5em;
    margin: 0.5em;
    box-shadow: 2px 1.5px 1px rgba(176,16,0,0.7), 0 0 0px 1px lightgrey;
    overflow-wrap: break-word;
}
 
.collapsible-block-unfolded{
    color: black;
    overflow-wrap: break-word;
 
}
 
.collapsible-block-unfolded-link {
    text-align:center;
}
 
.collapsible-block-folded {
    text-align: center;
    color: dimgrey;
}
 
.collapsible-block-link {
    font-weight: bold;
    color: dimgrey;
    text-align: center;
}
 
.addendumbox {
    padding: .01em 16px;
    margin-bottom: 16px;
    margin-top: 16px;
    padding-bottom: 1em;
    box-shadow:0 2px 5px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.16),0 2px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.12);
}
 
.material-box {
    padding: .01em 16px;
    margin-bottom: 16px;
    margin-top: 16px;
    padding-bottom: 1em;
    border: 1px lightgrey solid;
    box-shadow: 1px 2px 2px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.16);
}
 
.material-box blockquote {
    border: 1px double #999;
}
 
.wiki-content-table {
    width: 100%;
}
 
.addendumbox blockquote {
    border: 1px double #999;
}
 
.addendumtitle {
   opacity: 0.8;
   margin-bottom: 10px;
   color: #b01;
}
 
.maintitle {
   margin-bottom: 10px;
   color: black;
}
 
.scp-header {
    text-align: center;
    font-size:x-large;
    color:#b01;
}
 
.addenda-header {
    width: 100%;
    border-bottom: 2px black solid;
    color: black;
}
 
.scp-info {
    display:flex;
    justify-content:space-between;
    font-size:large;
}
 
.scp-info-box {
    display:flex; 
    justify-content:space-between;
}
 
.object-info {
    color:black;
    align-self: flex-end;
    font-size: large;
}
 
.title-style {
    opacity: 0.8;
    margin-bottom: 10px;
    color: #b01;
    font-size: large;
    text-decoration: underline;
    font-weight: bold;
}
 
.update-div-empty {
    text-align: right;
    font-size: x-small;
    color: lightgrey;
}
 
.update-div {
    text-align: right;
    font-size: x-small;
}
 
.computed {
    border: 1px black solid;
    width: 50%;
    display: inline-block;
text-align: left;
    padding: 3px;
}
.computed:before {
    content:"Computed Code";
    font-weight: bold;
border-bottom: solid 1px black;
width: 100%;
}
.rawcode {
    border: black solid 1px;
    width: 50%;
    display: inline-block;
text-align: left;
    padding: 3px;
}
.rawcode:before{
    content:"Raw Code";
    text-align: center;
    font-weight: bold;
border-bottom: solid 1px black;
width: 100%;
}
.codebox {
    display: inline-block;
    width: 100%;
    text-align: center;
}
.yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a em,  .yui-navset .yui-nav a em{
        padding: 0.25em .75em; 
        top: 0px;
        margin-bottom: 0px;
}
.yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a {
     background: gray;
}
.yui-navset .yui-nav .selected {
       margin: 0px;
}
.yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a, .yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a:focus, .yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a:hover, .yui-navset .yui-nav .selected a {
         background: gray;
}
.yui-navset .yui-nav a:hover,
.yui-navset .yui-nav a:focus {
    background: gainsboro;
    text-decoration: none;
}
.yui-navset .yui-nav a, .yui-navset .yui-navset-top .yui-nav a {
background-color: none;
background-image: none;
}
.yui-navset .yui-nav a {
background: none;
}
.yui-navset .yui-nav li{
margin: 0px;
}
rating: +2+x
blank.png




1/5709 LEVEL 1/5709
CLASSIFIED
classified-lv1.svg
Item #: SCP-5709
Pending

Special Containment Procedures

The Foundation Security Department and the Containment Division are postulating a method of moving and containing SCP-5709-1.

Damage estimates indicate that 19% of the ground level of Site-34 is currently under SCP-5709-1. Site-34 is to remain on lockdown; all safe class anomalies are being transported off-site to the nearest containment facility, Site-51.

SCP-5709-1 neutralization is currently pending O5 approval.

Description

SCP-5709 is an unexplained event that led to the creation of a large organic mass composed of two ovoid structures (designated SCP-5709-1) in the parking lot of Site-34. At 08:00 GMT on 04 Jul 2020 02:30, the following file was uploaded to the SCP Main-List Database:

Item #: SCP-5709

Object Class: Neutralized

Special Containment Procedures: Dr. Richard Hess is to write and deliver a letter of resignation to the office of Site Director Forster. Upon delivering the file, Dr. Hess is to extend the central digit on his right hand in an upwards position and point it in the direction of the Site Director. Once complete, Dr. Hess will exit the facility and never return.

Description: I quit fuckers! This has been an eye-opening shit show of a job and I'm done. Time and time again I've been passed over for promotions, just so some kiss ass can get ahead. Well fuck this, I'll go get a job at a shit college teaching med students basic biology; it'll probably pay more, and at least I won't be knee-deep in human viscera every other day. I'd say it's been nice but, you know, it hasn't.

finger

Adiós.


AdDeNdUmB: You weren't in your office so:

Also, don't worry about me spilling the beans on whatever meaningless secrets I know, I'm taking amnestics on my way out the door. Gods know I don't want to remember this shit hole.

Following this upload, Dr. Richard Hess was seen exiting Site-34 and approaching his vehicle. Security cameras recorded Dr. Hess unlocking his vehicle before grabbing his groin with a pained expression. After approximately 30 seconds, SCP-5709-1 rapidly expanded from underneath Dr. Hess, crushing him in the process.

Measuring approximately 300 meters, the ovoid structures composing SCP-5709-1 are loosely covered by a thick layer of epidermis. The epidermis is entirely covered in densely located rhytids. A total of 200 inflamed cuticles are located randomly across the surface. Initial sample analysis revealed a 100% DNA match to Dr. Hess and a testosterone level of 20,000 nanograms per deciliter, well above average for a baseline human male.






































Sometimes you just gotta grow the organic ovoid structures to stand up for yourself.

Crit credit: MalyceGravesMalyceGraves, barredowlbarredowl, PlaguePJPPlaguePJP, Marcelles_RaynesMarcelles_Raynes, Mew-ltiverseMew-ltiverse, DianaBerryDianaBerry

Image: https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Aerial_View_-_L%C3%B6rrach_Lauffenm%C3%BChle.jpg

https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Caucasian_sphere.jpg