rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Euclid/Terminal?

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX has been closed off from the public, under the guise of maintenance work. Patrolling guards have been positioned at each end of SCP-XXXX. Traffic cameras have been placed throughout its entirety to monitor SCP-XXXX-1 during tests. First aid teams are to stand by during tests. Personnel entering SCP-XXXX must receive permission from the head researcher and extended anti-laughing training.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a straight part of highway 11km long.

A SCP-XXXX-1 instance will appear next to a moving vehicle shortly after it enters SCP-XXXX. SCP-XXXX-1 is a stretch-limousine usually of black color1 and black tinted windows.

The passengers of SCP-XXXX-1, hereby titled SCP-XXXX-2 instances have been identified as deceased comedians or people that died from laughter. SCP-XXXX-2 instances will attempt to make the target vehicle’s passengers laugh by any means necessary.

If any passenger laughs while inside SCP-XXXX, the vehicle he is in will have an accident fatal to him. The more someone laughs inside SCP-XXXX the more brutal his death will be. Passengers in the vehicle that crashed will only suffer minor injuries if they haven’t laughed. If a vehicle that has been targeted by SCP-XXXX-1 drives through SCP-XXXX without any of its passengers laughing, SCP-XXXX-1 will be the one that has a fatal accident.

Addendum XXXX.1: Several tests were conducted to determine under which circumstances SCP-XXXX-1 targets a vehicle. D-961107 has been instructed to drive through SCP-XXXX, in a Foundation-issued armored vehicle, and has been equipped with protective gear. The first successful SCP-XXXX-1 instance materialized on the 4th drive-through attempt, when D-961107 entered SCP-XXXX with a speed of 52km/h.

The incident log below was recorded by traffic cameras and dash cameras on the vehicle and D-961107’s helmet.

<Begin Log>

D-961107: Here we go again. Came out of the turn going 54km/h.

Command: Alright keep it steady.

(D-961107 drives past the 600 meter mark when he notices SCP-XXXX-1 in the mirror)

D-961107: Command, you see this? Seems like it’s closing in fast.

Command: Yes, seems like it finally showed up. Stay focused now, and remember, try to engage in conversation if possible.

D-961107: Engage in conversation and don’t laugh, got it.

(SCP-XXXX-1 activates the turn signal and comes next to the armored vehicle. An SCP-XXXX-2 instance2 looks at D-961107 through the limousine’s rear window. It pushes itself out, cigarette in mouth, and knocks on the driver’s window. D-961107 lowers it.)

SCP-XXXX-“Bernie Mac”: Hey man, you got fire?

D-961107: No, sorry.

(SCP-XXXX-“Bernie Mac” opens its mouth in surprise dropping the cigarette.)

SCP-XXXX-“Bernie Mac”: It’s alright, I don’t even smoke. (laughs and gets back inside the limousine. D-961107 seems distressed and speeds up.)

D-961107: Yeah, whatever.

Command: D-961107 slow down a bit try to talk to them.

D-961107: I just want to get out of here ASAP. You know who that is? Its Bernie fucking Mac, man!

Command: So try and found out what it wants.

(The limousine raises its speed and catches up to D-961107.)

D-961107: Hey you, where you going to?

SCP-XXXX-“Bernie Mac”: To the city of sin.

D-961107: Vegas? What you going to Vegas for?