Integer Soup
rating: 0+x

-0.5x, plotted using general graphing methods.


-0.5x, plotted using methods described in the field of Ephymatics.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is kept in the Site-96 research lab, in an airtight room that constantly maintains an average air temperature of 21.64 °C. Four lab-grade digital thermometers of different design and make are to monitor the temperature of SCP-XXXX and report the values 10,000 times a second. These values are averaged and stored in Site-96's database, and used as the basis of our understanding of the field of Ephymatics.

Update - 06/13/18: As a result of the Transparency Clause, data recovered from SCP-XXXX, as well as all current and future research on Ephymatics, is hereby considered public domain, and is visible to all citizens living in UN-backed countries. Despite this, research and development of the field is to continue as previously.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a bowl of cream of mushroom soup that disproves general and applied mathematics as a whole. Its temperature, though physically consistent with the surrounding air temperature, produces disparate readings when making use of any electronic or otherwise digital thermometer. Though these readings appear random, they constitute a pattern of mathematical probabilities that can be understood only when fundamental rules such as square law, commutativity, and the order of operations are ignored.

Trying to make sense of the numerical data gathered when monitoring SCP-XXXX has opened the door to countless discoveries in number theory, and has led to the development of a parallel field to mathematics that is currently being called "Ephymatics" by Foundation researchers. Ephymatics is roughly equivalent to mathematics, but based on assumptions made when gathering data produced by SCP-XXXX's temperature, allows for vastly expedited transfer of information, and can account for extraordinarily large values with an efficiency that mathematics doesn't possess the methods for.

SCP-XXXX is safe to consume, and produces no supplementary effects upon entering the human body. Limited testing has revealed that SCP-XXXX keeps its effects through digestion, and that fecal matter produced after the consumption of SCP-XXXX maintains its thermometric capabilities, albeit to a lesser degree.

Addendum 01 - Mathematics vs Ephymatics

A list of notable differences between Mathematics and Ephymatics is being constantly updated based on new data gathered from SCP-XXXX. The following is the most recent version of the list, with specifics removed due to the tendency for Ephymatics to cause slight memetic upset in untrained readers1. Any concepts not included below have yet to be deduced from the data gathered.

Mathematics Concept Consistency with Ephymatics Usage in Ephymatics
Square Law Disparate and Inconsistent Removed2
Commutative Property of Addition Equivalent and Consistent Removed3
Associative Property of Addition Equivalent and Consistent Removed4
Distributive Property of Addition Equivalent and Consistent Removed5
Commutative Property of Multiplication Equivalent but Inconsistent Removed6
Associative Property of Multiplication Equivalent but Inconsistent Removed7
Distributive Property of Multiplication Equivalent but Inconsistent Removed8
Order of Operations Disparate but Consistent Removed9
Most Trigonometric Identities Disparate and Inconsistent Removed10

Addendum 02 - Congressional Hearings


The Transparency Clause is approved by Congress and vetoed by President Trump, who is under Foundation influence. The Foundation sends a number of representatives to revise the terms, including the introduction of paragraphs set in place to protect the general public from memetic contamination.


The government shuts down memetic fields across the majority of the continental US, breaking the Foundation's main form of anomalous influence towards President Trump, as well as causing 112 containment breaches throughout 34 separate containment sites.


The Transparency Clause is brought back to Congress with the addition of four paragraphs allowing for protection of the public from infohazardous and memetic data. A counterclaim is brought up, and an additional paragraph is added that disallows the Foundation or related parties from engineering data to be infohazardous. Counterclaims are sorted through for the next week, until a final version of the Clause is brought back to President Trump, who signs it.


A counterclaim is introduced by the Foundation, specifically regarding SCP-XXXX's data. The claim indicates that introduction of Ephymatics to the general public would have negative effects on the progression of physics and science as a whole, and that allowing the incomplete data to be interpreted without the proper internal studies by the Foundation could be detrimental. This claim is largely met with negativity, and is not included in the final draft.


Foundation researchers discover neuromemetic properties in SCP-XXXX's data, and cite the paragraphs on infohazardous and memetic data in their request to withhold it from the public. The request is denied.


The Foundation releases a number of advertising campaigns warning against the use of Ephymatics, and citing neuromemetic influence as a danger to non-inoculated individuals. The government has the campaigns shut down, and fines the Foundation for spread of false propaganda. The foundation fights the fine, claiming that without proper inoculation, exposure to SCP-XXXX's data and Ephymatics in general could be dangerous to civilians. Congress demands proof of these claims.


The Foundation produces fifteen studies showing that Ephymatics causes dangerous memetic influence. The government disproves these studies as unethical and nonscientific, and Congress demands the Foundation release all information regarding Ephymatics to the public.


Congress calls for special investigation of the Foundation, and issues a subpoena directed at the acquisition of Ephymatics research. The Foundation calls for a number of emergency meetings to discuss the situation.


The risk to civilian life is deemed less severe than the possibility of a successful investigation of the Foundation. The SCP-XXXX data, and all current and future Ephymatics research becomes public domain.

Addendum 03 - Press Conference


Newspaper clipping


Met Welvin

Public CEO of the SCP Foundation Prichard Dondai-Bluth's press conference about the statements made by Welvin, in which he denies all allegations.

Addendum 04 - Foundation Meeting

buncha foundation personnel meet about it, some of whom were unaware of the fact that the Ephymatics thing IS collusion, and IS bullshit, and the investigator IS in the right.