J-Dune:source

All life on Earth made noise a whole awful lot,

But SCP-5196, who lives just north of this universe, definitely did not!

SCP-5196 hated sounds! It wanted to squeeze them!

It's an ancient horror, and an infohazard for a reason!

In the style of Seuss, information must be exchanged,

Please don't ask why, it'll all be explained.

Earth is a planet, and it's relatively small,

But our rhythm and rhyme make us sound so tall.

SCP-5196 hated our noise, it drove it insane!

So it searched high and low, for the source of its pain.

It finally found it! After hundreds of years!

But little did it know that the Foundation was near.

They saw its arrival and gave an emergency brief,

To stop this anomaly, contained or deceased!

They lured it to the arctic near Site-66

If you saw its immensity, you'd surely shit bricks!

It spoke in their heads, it kind of felt tinglish!

What a quick learner, it spoke perfect English!

"I'm sick of your chatter and I hate all your sounds!"

"Your singing, your rhyming, how you write them all down!"

"I used to sleep well until you came around,"

"And disturbed my slumber with your pens and your mouths!"

"I know just what to do!" Laughed 5196, gaping its maws.

As it swallowed up Site-66, and closed its jaws!

It thought to itself, "What a great punishment!"

But the Council didn't like that.

No, not one bit.

"Fire the warheads!" cried the O5s!

A unanimous vote, even O5-9!

That didn't stop 5196. The creature simply said,

"If that's all you have, you'll all end up dead!"

"I'll swallow this continent, your towns, and your cities!"

"You'll all be made silent! Wouldn't that be nifty?"

Site-01 was in shambles, overwhelmed with requests,

To terminate the beast, and which way would be best.

Paratech, sonic cannons, even the lizard,

The GOC, the Insurgency, every thaumaturgical wizard!

The council sat and they talked, they talked and they sat.

Nothing could be decided on. No form of combat.

The warheads kept launching, from as far as they could throw them,

When a tiny suggestion came from six's factotum.

"It hates all our noise, and specifically rhymes,"

"So let's make it leave with a toxiphrase landmine!"

The council applauded the glorified clerk.

They notified Miscommunications, and sent them to work!

Using computers and magic and anomalous means,

They bottled a phrase, the size of a bean!

A specialized agent who moved incredibly swift,

Leaped onto 5196's back, and injected the syringe!

The beast writhed in pain, and screamed silent screams.

"It looks like these humans are more capable than they seem!"

His body was wracked from all of the rhymes,

After all, each Seuss book was condensed five hundred trillion times!

Angered, annoyed, and on the verge of death,

The creature designated SCP-5196 lifted itself up, and left.

The satellites tracking, it was going away!

But as files were written, 5196 turned back our way.

Information about it, when not presented in rhyme,

Gives the being power. It'd be back in no time!

So as a necessary precaution, and to assure his path is one is stayed,

All future documentation is to be written this way.