robot writes my scps because im too lazy

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is to be housed at Site-28 in a 24-person containment unit, equipped with both security doors and airlock systems. A fire alarm is to be activated whenever all SCP-XXXX-like objects, especially children, appear. The device is to be removed and examined at random by an appropriate site-level security official. The presence of SCP-XXXX-esque objects are to be reported to all personnel capable of seeing SCP-XXXX-like objects.

Description: SCP-XXXX is an anomalous object found in ████████ ████████ █████, Russia. It is an opaque sphere covered in red blood, with a single visible red eye at the center, and a circular, two-sided metal plaque affixed to its surface. A portion of SCP-XXXX is shown in the form of an elongated wooden box-shaped object. This object depicts two children playing a game of dominoes.

The red object, when opened, reveals a picture of the girl, wearing the same uniform as the young children, on a white table and playing with an unknown colored object in a box. While this child appears to be normal, it appears that the red object is no longer present; it now shows just her face. The box itself and the object continue to have no effect, with no observable effects on their surroundings.

Upon close inspection of SCP-XXXX, it is revealed to contain thirty-six black dots suspended from the surface of its box, arranged in a manner similar to SCP-XXXX. They stand approximately 9 cm apart, and feature an image of a man in a black robe standing at the center of a white circle. The symbol for "██" has been included at the top of the circle, and on the underside of these dots is inscribed "██".

When approached by an object, SCP-XXXX will begin to perform a series of strange behaviors, such as levitate itself. It will also take a humanoid form and begin talking in a conversational style, often with unintelligible English written in it. When speaking, it often claims to be an individual from Earth, or other Earth-based cultures. SCP-XXXX will also occasionally reveal itself to be a member of either the Human or Xeno species in question, and will also display a set of distinctive features, such as facial features being elongated and/or raised up.

These features, sometimes referred to as the facial hair, are described to be different from a person's natural appearance. Due to SCP-XXXX's abilities to mimic the shape of a human and their appearance, it is possible to see the same person's facial features when observing subjects, though it is unclear how they are supposed to actually differ from a human's and when they will actually exhibit these features. It is also unknown how the various facial hair patterns within SCP-XXXX's face will appear at various times. If it is observed that subjects display similar facial hair patterns to a human, then these patterns will invariably end up looking different from their usual appearances. Once one of these patterns does appear during a subject's appearance, it will begin to slowly retract, usually starting from the bridge of the nose, then eventually coming entirely across the entire face. Due to the amount of time it takes for these patterns to retract between appearances, such elongations become more pronounced on subjects. When these elongations start to form a significant deviation along the bridge of the nose, it is speculated that it will be caused by the anomalous properties of SCP-XXXX's facial hair, however this has not yet been proven.

Experiment Log: SCP-XXXX, Procedure XXXX-01

Experiment Log: SCP-XXXX, Procedure XXXX-02

Experiment Log: SCP-XXXX, Procedure XXXX-03

Subject: ██████

Personnel: ████

Test Objectives:

1) Determine hair patterns by viewing SCP-XXXX in the context of an unknown set of subjects or subject types

2) Identify subjects or subject types who exhibit distinct facial hair

3) Assess the accuracy of SCP-XXXX's analysis

Results: ██ subjects have a beard. ██████ subjects have long (1.5m) stubble on their faces and arms. ███████████ subjects have no visible facial hair. A total of 28 subjects have hair on some level. Of the 28 subjects who exhibited a distinct facial hair, 27 exhibited some hair and 2 subjects did not have any recognizable facial hair. Of the 22 persons affected by a beard, 16 were affected by SCP-XXXX, while the remaining 26 were unaffected. At the onset of the study, SCP-XXXX identified 19 subjects as being affected. On the day of the initial observation, however, SCP-XXXX identified 10 subjects due to their hair falling naturally.

The results of the analysis following the observation showed that the most significant characteristics of each subject were:

  • Subject had high level of education and/or experience . It was noted that one subject with a university degree and/or higher scored higher than others with an equivalent level of education and/or experience.
  • Subject had a facial hair which was natural, not contrived or engineered. Subjects had minimal, at most, blemishes of any kind.
  • Subject had a beard that stood out in a manner typical of individuals who do not have it to begin with. This was more common in male subjects than females and was less pronounced in lighter-skinned subjects than in darker-skinned subjects. This facial hair was almost universally longer, thicker, thicker, and more elongated than that of other subjects. It was mostly thickening in both the beard and between the chin and bridge of the nose.
  • Subject was consistently able to identify faces without having recognized faces of other subjects, or with a very limited understanding of the way faces were perceived.

This behavior apparently did not change in any way with age.