rating: +1+x

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Neutralized

Special Containment Procedures: The remains of SCP-XXXX are to be kept in Site-45 cold storage.

Description: SCP-XXXX is an elderly masculine humanoid wearing only a labcoat and stovepipe hat. Underneath this hat is an explosive fuse embedded into SCP-XXXX's scalp, starting at a length of 20 cm. This fuse is lit at the farthest end, decreasing in size at a rate of 1 cm/h.

20 sticks of dynamite are present in SCP-XXXX's abdominal cavity in place of viscera and several organs.

Discovery: SCP-XXXX was discovered after exiting from a janitorial closet in Site-45 and proclaiming that it was a member of site staff. Once the fuse atop SCP-XXXX's head was discovered, it was moved to a Heavy-Duty Storage container and on-site research staff awaited for it to reach SCP-XXXX head.

Upon the fuse reaching SCP-XXXX's head, it belched loudly. SCP-XXXX then tripped inside the chamber and suffered a major head injury; despite attempts to resuscitate it, SCP-XXXX expired.

Addendum: Paper found in the coat pocket of SCP-XXXX.

Hi, kids! Now you are the proud owner of Profesesor Boom, who is the most ok boomer of the Tiny Señor line of Professor Funtastic! Try to collect all the fun for hours!
Let your señors here for fun! Pick up all the señors, super fun! Fun for you! Fun of your friends!

  • Profesesor Boom!
  • Señor Fluff!
  • Señor Senor!!
  • Señor Senorita!!
  • Señor Fun!
  • Señor Hole!
  • Señor Pig!
  • Señor Purple!
  • Señor Taste!