The Quintuple Rat King

possible slot choices:

  • 5425 (1425 reference, top choice)
  • 5550 (maybe not, the fives may be overkill)
  • 5982 (1982 reference, backup top choice)
  • 2454 (previously a fifthist article, definitely will be taken before i finish this shit)

rating: +1+x

Imagery acting as part of SCP-XXXX's opening.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Confirmed witnesses of SCP-XXXX episodes are to be amnesticized, with virtual recording or accounts of episodes being removed and publicly dismissed as fraudulent.

Any rat populations near the area SCP-XXXX manifested are to be euthanized as soon as possible. Any SCP-XXXX-A instances found to have been created should be destroyed through appropriate means.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a religious news magazine television series entitled The Quintuple Rat King, accessible in the Northern United States and the entirety of Canada. Currently, SCP-XXXX is comprised of 48 known episodes, split into four seasons. SCP-XXXX episodes will appear whilst a subject is changing through television channels; attempts at changing the channel after its appearance will fail. SCP-XXXX usually targets subjects in close proximity to domesticated and wild organism of the Rattus genus.

SCP-XXXX episodes start with a title card accompanied by assorted rat-based imagery, fading into a ornately decorated living room set with two chairs and a coffee table. Present on one of these chairs is the host of SCP-XXXX, designated SCP-XXXX-1.

SCP-XXXX-1 is a brown rat (Rattus norvegicus), wearing an intricate headdress constructed from carved cheese, string, and craft gems. SCP-XXXX-1 is capable of speaking English and a glossolaliac language, its mouth does not move while speaking. SCP-XXXX-1 self-identifies as "Grand Clandestine Wiggums". It is unknown if there are other entities involved in the production of SCP-XXXX, although rodent squeaking can be frequently heard off camera.

SCP-XXXX-1 will then introduce the episode's topic, usually revolving around an abstract spiritual and/or astrological connection to current events in both human and rat populations. A notable amount of events described are wholly nonexistent or nonsensical. SCP-XXXX-1 will occasionally introduce guests1, although no guests have yet to make an appearance. Despite this, SCP-XXXX-1 continues with the show as if the guest is present. This will continue for approximately 30 minutes until SCP-XXXX concludes, fading to black without any credits. The television playing SCP-XXXX will then turn off.

Rats exposed to SCP-XXXX episodes become the host of virulent reality-warping effects. These effects usually develop to assist affected rats in the creation of artworks and semi-coherent writings, crudely constructed or written using locally available materials. These pieces are designated SCP-XXXX-A.


SCP-XXXX-A instance. A fifth hazardous figure in the center has been expunged.

Despite their crude methods of composition, a majority of SCP-XXXX-A instances appear expertly crafted. SCP-XXXX-A instances possess similar anomalous properties to SCP-XXXX on unaffected rats, and causes humans observing instances to be selectively susceptible to suggestion. This mainly entails allowing SCP-XXXX affected rat populations to continue their behavior unimpeded.

Once large quantities rats are influenced, they will begin to congregate into large swarms. As these congregations become larger, local reality will begin to distort. This usually results in local reality becoming an uninhabitable environment for humans, and an increasingly more habitable environment for rat populations.

These swarms will spend most of their time constructing progressively taller and impossibly elaborate SCP-XXXX-A instances, with an assumed emphasis on building the instances as high as possible.

Addendum XXXX-1 — Notable Excerpts of Recovered SCP-XXXX Episodes:

Episode #: S1 E1

Title: "Your Little Soul Has So Much In There Darling"

Topic: Basic introduction.

SCP-XXXX-1: Welcome all who are hearing to The Quintuple Rat King! I'll be your host for all this time. Find a seat, grab a bite, find a bite, grab a seat! I'm what one could say is called Grand Clandestine Wiggums, and I have quite the secret to tell all ya'll, but you must go and listen closely now. Listen into the river, to all of the crackles and waves and rushes of the flowing rapids now. Yeah hearing that? Yeah?


SCP-XXXX-1: Been quite the odd ole day hasn't it? Fires, liars, events have transpired. But why's that how's it is? Don't worry squeaks, just listen to that ole river now.

Episode #: S1 E4

Title: "Look Down At The Stars, You're Higher Than The Lot Of Them"

Topic: The supposed mass vanishings of employees of NASA and SpaceX, including [elon and nasa ceo].

SCP-XXXX-1: With the odd ole vanishings, inside-boxers may be thinking and pondering all those sly dog answers to the why's it alls and how's it alls of the situation. But you're above that lot. Remember that squeaks. Look on down on all those there boxes. They ain't bigger than you squeaks. No matter how biggened they make themselves look.

This brings you to my next old box who guests up here, one Jeffrey Presto-Change-o Bezos!

(Pause. SCP-XXXX-1 looks at the side of the set, slowly moving its eyes towards the empty chair.)

SCP-XXXX-1: Presto here may act like a star. Oh he may. He can change-o all-o he wants-o. But guess who, rodent you?

(Hard thud. SCP-XXXX-1 looks down at the floor in front of the empty chair.)

SCP-XXXX-1: He may as well just be laying dead out on the floor compared to you.

(Smoke seeps from between the wooden floorboards in front of the empty chair. SCP-XXXX-1 chortles.)

Episode #: S2 E6

Title: "A Subcutaneous Palimpsest"

Topic: The Black Death. Certain details are exaggerated and falsified.

SCP-XXXX-1: There's something under your skin, that's for sure. It's been written over by so-so high and mighty boxes. We're all p-p-p-puppets! Strings dangling up from those franks and furters below-ing us. Enough smoky mirrors to get us all feeling all small. But they ain't knowing smoke. They all be running about with their minds wriggling out of their ears and if ya'll squint wide enough all ya'll can see the blood dripping out and upwards.

(SCP-XXXX-1's eyes twitch heavily. The camera shakes slightly.)

SCP-XXXX-1: You have a gift — oh yes you do squeaks, you have a gift — we have a gift — I have a gift! And it is to spread! We spread all over, wiping out any odd murky old box who can't handle it the clandestine spread that the knife we carry— are! lathers over 'em all! The pickled pack of picked survivors label our spread as a plague — as punishment — as a weakener! We've spread on all thousands and all of them couldn't handle the throttling entangled hand of that Quintuple Rat King!

Episode #: S3 E5

Title: "The Meeting Of Bones And Light"

Topic: The supposed legalization of various depressants and hallucinogens throughout the United States.

SCP-XXXX-1: These celestial spices denoted quite negatively as "drugs" are the truest of gated ways to where you need to go. With more boxes protesting those superb souls legalizing marijuana and LSD in the Colorado, I return more to recalling where I flew into my clandestine mission to send all ya'll up there.

Episode #: S4 E12

Title: "Starry Eyes Are Made Of Clay"

Topic: The sudden disappearance of all major star constellations, and the replacement of Polaris with a star with a pink hue, becoming gradually larger in the sky.

(The first ten minutes of the episode consist of SCP-XXXX-1 chortling in its chair.)

SCP-XXXX-1: (Coughs.) Ain't it all just beautiful out there? everyone's gone on and looked up at that there beaut in the sky. Go on, look now fellas.

(The camera is panned upwards, pointing off the set and at the ceiling of the stage.)

SCP-XXXX-1: (In a hushed tone.) Squeaks this is quite the special episode we're getting on into here.


Tags: murine fifthist keter scp recording media memetic ontokinetic