The Clandestine Rat King

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Imagery acting as part of SCP-XXXX's opening.

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Confirmed witnesses of SCP-XXXX episodes are to be amnesticized, with virtual recording or accounts of episodes being removed and publicly dismissed as fraudulent.

Any rat populations near the area SCP-XXXX manifested are to be euthanized as soon as possible. Any SCP-XXXX-A instances found to have been created should be destroyed through appropriate means.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a religious news television series entitled The Clandestine Rat King, accessible in the Northern United States. Currently, SCP-XXXX is comprised of 48 known episodes, split into four seasons. SCP-XXXX episodes will appear whilst a subject is changing through television channels; attempts at changing the channel after its appearance will fail. SCP-XXXX primarily targets subjects in close proximity to organisms of the Rattus genus.

SCP-XXXX episodes start with a title card consisting of various rodent-based imagery, fading into a ornately decorated living room set with two chairs and a coffee table. Present on one of these chairs is the host of SCP-XXXX, designated SCP-XXXX-1.

SCP-XXXX-1 is a brown rat wearing an intricate headpiece constructed from carved cheese, string, and craft gems. SCP-XXXX-1 is capable of speaking English and a glossolaliac language, and its mouth does not move while speaking. SCP-XXXX-1 claims it is named "Grand Clandestine Wiggums." It is unclear if any other entities involved in the production of SCP-XXXX, although rodent squeaking can be frequently heard off camera.

SCP-XXXX-1 will then introduce the episode's topic, usually revolving around an abstract spiritual and/or astrological connection to current events. These events described are exaggerated or are wholly nonexistent. SCP-XXXX-1 will occasionally introduce guests1, although none of these guests make an actual appearance. Despite this, SCP-XXXX-1 continues the show normally as if the guest is present. This will continue for approximately 30 minutes until SCP-XXXX concludes, fading to black without any credits. The television playing SCP-XXXX will then turn off.

ratart.jpg

SCP-XXXX-A instance. A fifth memetically hazardous figure in the center has been expunged.

Rats exposed to SCP-XXXX episodes become the host of virulent reality-warping effects. These effects assist affected rats in the creation of artworks and semi-coherent writings, crudely composed using locally available materials. These pieces are designated SCP-XXXX-A.

Despite the crude methods of their composition, all SCP-XXXX-A appear competently crafted. SCP-XXXX-A instances [finish] humans observing instances to be selectively susceptible to suggestion. This mainly entails allowing SCP-XXXX-affected rats to continue their behavior unimpeded.

Once sizeable quantities of rats are influenced, they will congregate into large swarms. As these congregations become larger, local reality will begin to distort. This usually results in local reality becoming an uninhabitable environment for humans, and an increasingly more habitable environment for rat populations.

Currently, the largest congregation of SCP-XXXX-affected rats is in a field outside of Blanchard, Maine. More rats affected by SCP-XXXX periodically migrate to this location. These rats have begun construction of a large staircase structure, constructed out of larger SCP-XXXX-A instances, extending into the sky.

Addendum XXXX-1 — Notable Excerpts of Recovered SCP-XXXX Episodes:

Episode #: S1 E1

Title: "Your Little Soul Has So Much In There Darling"

Topic: Basic introduction.


SCP-XXXX-1: Welcome all who are hearing to The Clandestine Rat King! I'll be your host for all this time. Find a seat, grab a bite, find a bite, grab a seat! I'm what one could say is called Grand Clandestine Wiggums, and I have quite the secret to tell all y'all, but you must come and listen closely now. Listen into the river, to all of the crackles and waves and rushes of the flowing rapids now. Yeah hearing that? Yeah? We're thinking outta the box, river's outta the box now.

(Pause.)

SCP-XXXX-1: Been quite the odd ole day hasn't it? Fires, liars, events have transpired. But why's that how it is? Don't worry squeaks, just listen to that ole river now.

Episode #: S1 E4

Title: "Look Down At The Stars, You're Higher Than The Lot Of Them"

Topic: The supposed mass vanishings of space program employees, including SpaceX CEO Elon Musk.


SCP-XXXX-1: With the odd ole vanishings, inside-boxers may be pondering all those sly dog answers to the why's it alls and how's it alls of the sit-che-ation. But you're above that lot. Remember that squeaks. Look on down on all those there boxes. They ain't bigger than you squeaks. No matter how biggened they make themselves look.

Found that Muskrat man, they did, oh, they did. Only found his eyes! Doesn't need those where he's going. Box is too dark for 'em, no damn need.

This brings you to my next old box who guests up here, one Jeffrey Presto-Change-o Bezos!

(Pause. SCP-XXXX-1 looks at the side of the set, slowly moving its eyes towards the empty chair. The chair creaks.)

SCP-XXXX-1: Presto here may act like a star. Oh he may. He can change-o all-o he wants-o. He can give 'imself a— a money lobotomy! But guess who, rodent you?

(Hard thud. SCP-XXXX-1 looks down at the floor in front of the empty chair.)

SCP-XXXX-1: He may as well just be laying dead out on the floor compared to you.

(Blood seeps from between the wooden floorboards in front of the empty chair. SCP-XXXX-1 chortles.)

SCP-XXXX-1: Now now, where were we?

Episode #: S2 E6

Title: "Freedom in Filth, Sin in Sanitation"

Topic: The Black Death. Certain details are exaggerated and falsified.


SCP-XXXX-1: There's something under your skin, that's for sure. It's been written over by so-so high and mighty boxes. We're all p-p-p-puppets! Strings dangling up from those franks and furters below us. Enough funhouse mirrors to get us all feeling all small. But we ain't the one's contorted by them mirrors. They all be running about with their minds wriggling out of their damn, damned ears! Squint wide enough, ya'll can see the blood dripping out and upwards!

(SCP-XXXX-1's eyes twitch heavily. The camera shakes slightly.)

SCP-XXXX-1: You have a gift — oh yes you do squeaks, you have a gift — we have a gift — I have a gift! And it is to spread! We spread all over, wiping out any odd murky old box who can't handle it the clandestine spread the knife we carry— we are! lathers over 'em! The pickled pack of picked survivors label our spread as a plague — as a punishment — as a weakener! We've spread on all thousands and all of them couldn't handle the throttling entangled tails… the Clandestine Rat King of filthy salvation!

Episode #: S3 E5

Title: "The Meeting Of Bones And Light"

Topic: The supposed legalization of various depressants and hallucinogens throughout the United States.


SCP-XXXX-1: These celestial spices denoted quite negatively as "drugs" are the truest of gated ways to where you need to go. With more boxes protesting those superb souls legalizing marijuana and LSD in the Colorado, I return more to recalling where I flew into my clandestine mission to send all ya'll up there.

[finish]

Episode #: S4 E12

Title: "Starry Eyes Are Made Of Clay"

Topic: The sudden disappearance of all major star constellations, and the replacement of Polaris with a star with a pink hue, becoming gradually larger in the sky.


(The first ten minutes of the episode consist of SCP-XXXX-1 chortling in its chair.)

SCP-XXXX-1: (Coughs.) Ain't it all just beautiful out there? everyone's gone on and looked up at that there beaut in the sky. Go on, look now fellas.

(The camera is panned upwards, pointing off the set and at the ceiling of the stage.)

SCP-XXXX-1: (In a hushed tone.) Squeaks this is quite the special episode we're getting on into here.

[finish]


Tags: murine fifthist keter scp recording media memetic ontokinetic