New on the menu!


Too much time spent inside? Too many cloudy days?
Perhaps you've just been feeling a little cold inside?
If the answer to any of these was yes, this is the dish for you!


Using our specialist techniques, we've been able to condense sunlight itself into a drink for you to try! Sure to provide a sunny disposition, we're sure that you'll love the tingling taste of this unique beverage.

Chaz, I set up one of James' coffee machines in our Three Portlands restaurant.

If it does well there, we should place one in each of our restaurants.


James you mad genius! The machine Marius set up is making more money than every other drink has put together!

We've rolled out these things across the board, and you're getting yourself a raise. Marius is appreciative to, I know he doesn't show it. Ah well. Good luck with your next project, I hear you're working with Barry on something?

-Chaz Ambrose


Date: 17/10/20██
Perpetrator: Unknown male patron
Responder: Cassandra Diamandis
Offending Action: Unknown patron ordered Liquid Sunshine, and upon receiving it they proceeded to indecently expose themselves, and attempted to engage in sexual intercourse with the supplied drinking vessel.
Action taken: Ms. Diamandis was able to quickly restrain and reclothe the offender, and promptly removed them from the premises.
Further actions: none deemed necessary.

Chaz, we need to talk about the last incident. The patron in question returned today threatening the Foundation if we didn't turn over the Liquid Sunshine machine. Naturally, we turned him away, but everyone is still on edge. The pretermemetics the Circus helped us set up are still functional, however if they have a guide that won't matter much.



Date: 08/11/20██
Perpetrator: The SCP Foundation
Responder: N/A
Offending Action: A SCPF containment team arrived at ~3:00 PM, and were able to take control of the restaurant.
Action taken: Full staff evacuation was completed successfully, however only 12 of the ~30 patrons were able to escape capture.
Further actions: Lookouts have been hired to watch for Foundation and Global Occult Coalition presence near all restaurants located outside of anomalous free ports.

It happened.

He actually did it, did he?

The chefs are extremely agitated

You know how anartists get about Foundies and Gocks, can you blame him?
Especially after that whole anophiliac thing last month.

I believe that is related.

Probably. We'll know for the future.
Did we lose anything important?

One of the Liquid Sunshine machines

Is he ticked off? Probably. I'll talk to him later.

Hey Chaz, I'm sorry I acted out earlier. You're absolutely right, one machine lost isn't that big a deal, and hey, I shouldn't be focusing on the past anyway. I'll make it up to you as soon as I can, me and Barry have been working on this new way to treat meat I think you'd be interested in, pop by us tomorrow and you'll see what I mean.

-James Smith