Tips and Tricks for the Lazy and Stupid

— Is your significant other working for an anomalous group? —

Joseph Yoma was a regular young man from the big city with interestes in working for one of the Foundation's many Mobile Task Forces. That was until he met Suzy Dis. On the outside, she was a regular girl from an equally as regular family. On the inside, she was a female spy who decieved many men in to joining the anomalous "art" group "Are we cool yet?" and had no love for Yoma. The day before he was to be sent off to the Foundation, he decided to spend it with Dis. After a movie date, Yoma drove Dis to one of her favorite spots which turned out to be a common meetup place for those in "Are We Cool Yet?". Too far in love with Dis, Yoma agreed with her to abandon the Foundation and follow her down the "Are We Cool Yet? rabbithole…

For less than 15Ω, Yoma could have saved himself

Fortunately for us, the tale of Yoma and Dis is a false one. Unfortunately, it was inspired by many cases that have actually occured with people just like them. Many young men and women are being indoctrinated by their significant other to join an anomalous group to create anomalies, defy the Foundation, or turn in to an anomaly themselves! Thankfully, the Foundation has recently started a service known as HeartCheck that will determine whether or not your significant other is working for one of these groups. With HeartCheck, your significant other will be fully investigated to se if they have any anomalous connections. If they do, our HeartCheck experts will be able to help them out and your lover will be good as new. (and even smarter!) Starting at 5Ω's you will be able to save your relationship, yourself, and perhaps even the world!

Head to your local clinic or department store today and ask for your options when it comes to HeartCheck. Please note that any vendor that provides you HeartCheck for anything above 15Ω. Service unavailable in Haiti, Iceland, Greenland, Svalbard, and Chad.