Length of Original:
1,791 words
Length of Rewrite (Projected):
Verging on 3,000 words
1/3245 LEVEL 1/3245CLASSIFIED |
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Item #: SCP-3245Object Class: Euclid |
SCP-3245
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3245 is to be kept within a Standard Humanoid Containment Unit, and provided with an A-1 Basic Recreation Package1. Psychological evaluations of the entity are to take place weekly; to improve its morale, interviewers are required to accompany SCP-3245 in any games it produces and desires to play during interviews.
Description: SCP-3245 is a humanoid entity, 170 centimeters tall and weighing 92 kilograms. Despite presenting as human, the entity possesses no genetic material.
SCP-3245 is capable of altering the composition of any part of its body to resemble the components needed to play any board, card, tabletop or arcade game it desires, separating the resulting matter from its own body for recreational use, and re-absorbing it into its own body. The parts of its body which SCP-3245 transmutes in this way remain absent from its body until they are absorbed, upon which they once again become visible. SCP-3245 displays no pain or discomfort during this process.
Upon being separated from the body of SCP-3245, transmuted body parts become indistinguishable from game pieces and toys in coloration, shape, size, function, and material composition. The nature of the game pieces produced by SCP-3245 appears to directly correspond to the body parts they were transmuted from.
A tattoo consisting of the text "Mr. Playing Games Is Bad For Your Health, by Gamers Against Weed" is present on the right upper forearm of SCP-3245. The entity will acknowledge it when inquired as to its origin, but otherwise keeps it hidden.
SCP-3245 was discovered when it turned itself in to Foundation agents embedded in the police force of Phoenix, Arizona, United States. Upon its recovery, it presented the following document, which appears to have been handwritten with a bingo blotter.
Holy Heck! You've found yourself your very own Mr. Playing Games Is Bad For Your Health, by Gamers Against Weed! Who is Dr. Wondertainment?
Find them all and become Mr. Gamer!
01. Mr. Literal Serial Killer
02. Mr. Normie
03. Mr. Bernie Sanders
04. Mr. Get Anything For Free In Any Shop
20. Mr. Sex Number
21. Mr. Heavenly Virtues
22. Mr. Deadly Sins
23. Mr. Original Character
24. Mr. D.A.R.E.
25. Mrs. Gentrification
26. Ms. Mad About Video Games
27. Mr. Meme
28. Mr. Ominous (discontinued)
29. Mr. Destiny
30. Mr. Monty Python And The Holy Grail
31. Ms. Zapatista
32. Mr. Hax
33. Mr. Just Has The Tattoo
34. Mr. Top Text and Mr. Bottom Text
35. Mr. Finale
36. Mr. Playing Games Is Bad For Your Health ✔
Addendum: Interview Logs
Date: May 6th, 2020
Interviewer: Drahoslav Patočka, Foundation-employed psychiatrist
Interviewee: SCP-3245
Begin Log
(Dr. Patočka enters the chamber, within which SCP-3245 is seated at a table. Upon noticing him, SCP-3245 produces a large square chessboard from its abdomen, places it upon the table, and shakes its hands above it. Its fingers and hands transform into black and white chess pieces, and fall in perfect order upon the board. Dr. Patočka sits at the table across from it.)
Dr. Patočka: Good evening, SCP-3245.
SCP-3245: Yo. (It extends its right arm to offer a handshake, appears to realize that it lacks hands, and retracts its arm to rub the back of its head.) Nice to meet you, man.
Dr. Patočka: Likewise. Now, as is standard procedure for humanoid anomalies, I've got to ask you a few questions — your origin, when your anomalous capabilities came to light, et cetera. Do you have any questions for me before we begin?
SCP-3245: Oh, nah. (It pushes a piece on its side of the chessboard forwards.) I'm aight. Go ahead.