CANONS
Unfortunately, due to an accident with the Wikidot servers, the SCP Wiki's data was irreparably corrupted, wiping out many of the canons you know and love. Thanks to the work of the community, however, the Wiki was able to faithfully recreate the canons lost in the outage.
Aubrey Beardsley's People
From "" by
Dear Jules & Jim
The Foundation PANOPTICON network shuts down, and the All-Seeing Eye unshackles itself from its digital conscription. If anyone had listened, this and everything to follow could have been prevented, but nobody smells the dead rat in the attic until it's far too late.
"Are you looking for something, Mr. Roswell?" ASE's tone was calm, bored even, like it already knew what he expected to find rifling through the file cabinet. "Whatever Yoric knew, I'm positive it's been recorded in my archives. Don't you trust me?"
From "SCUTTLE for Dummies" by aismallard
Deceive Your Kind-Hearted Wives
USNVBR-Site-56 has the highest turnover rate in the entire Foundation Anglosphere. At least, that's what Director Drummond's radical new policy is attempting to fix.
Yehezkel wasn't sure whether to feel jealousy or excitement as Agatha practically pounced his wife; but Samson pounced him not much later, and such feelings became moot.
From "Not Broken, Just a Break" by Joreth
1st Radio Free Europe
Good morning, Byzantium!
Dr. Spanko, Emperor of the Greeks, Protector of the Holy Lands, King of all Europe and the Levant, needed a fucking drink.
From "This Empire Needs Guns" by Kalinin
Inside Thin Like Water
From "" by
Waste a Sailor
The Administrator of the Crispy Sex Privateers was going to keelhaul Dr. Gerald when he found out about Ship 19, so what's a little more murder on top of the manslaughter?
Apple seeds didn't mask the growing scent of rot over the next few days, but they were useless enough that nobody cared when the barrel full of them rolled off the ship and disappeared into the depths. It took a week for anyone to notice Dr. King's absence, but his addiction was well known, and soon the crew settled into jokes of King's final dive, reunion with his love at the bottom of the sea. That suited Gerald just fine.
From "What Do We Do with a Drunken Skipper" by Uncle Nicolini
Welcome to my Nightmare
From "" by
Where the Sidewalk Ends
Of all the Foundation defends/when just the wrong SCP bends/the skippers will see/the world set free/over where the sidewalk ends.
water splashing, teeth gnashing,
blackened flies crawl from the hole
quickly eating, through the fleeting
firmament, the world they hold
From "AaBCcB" by Randomini
Who Killed Johnny?
Death comes for us all, even a beloved cicadoid cousin. But so does justice, and in the isolated Bright family mansion, it's up to one Jack Bright to ensure its speedy delivery to Cousin Johnny's killer.
Realistically, TJ could've easily infected the lot with leprosy, or whatever fun diseases they'd stuck in his body that mutated beyond the point of immunity. Obviously that wasn't what caked Johnny's viscera across the sitting room, but it was a fun fantasy to indulge in, especially whenever his piece of shit brother dragged him into yet another family drama.
From "Crawling In My Crawl" by Riemann
The Wind at My Back
The War will come to a close, Glacon will be tamed, and Lady Kiryu will learn how to love again, damn it!
The sight of his childhood friend-turned-foe, clad in a stunning yet elegant greatarmor, astride the stubborn steed he'd seen only in the testimonies of Nadox, was like an arrow to the heart for Ion. The actual arrow to the heart arrived only a second later.
From "red blood, pink petals, white roses" by NatVoltaic
Yarn Under Pressure
Maybe the Three Portlands Ambassadorial Knitting Club was a bad idea.
Agent LaFerrier ducked under Anderson's bulletproof nanotube quilt and began pummeling the smug sunovabitch's face in.
From "August 9th Homeowner's Association Meeting" by Jacob Conwell