(Man with plant growth)

Following a brief and fruitless reign, X fled the capital with naught but his dressing gown and a trunk of books. It is said that in his self-imposed exile he would often read to the plants and creatures of the grove where he lived, until eventually the grove itself learned to craft poetry. Whilst the nonsense verse he claims to have heard was almost certainly an effect of his increasingly unhinged mind along with the psychotropic mushrooms which supplemented his diet, it’s fun to think that nature might’ve appreciated his gesture and somehow sent him little poems in the form of mushrooms, isn’t it?

By the time X resumed the throne it is said that he was completely mad, although the great works achieved throughout his later reign would go on to speak for themselves.

(Young girl with bird on head)

Duchess Elmer of Lamm

Duchess Elmer of Lamm was a tattooist’s daughter who was elevated to the position of Duchess only due to her close physical resemblance to this statue, a work which was ostensibly commissioned in her honour immediately following her appointment.

After the master sculptor of Quince began to lose his mind, his good friend the king went to great lengths to hide this fact from the masses. When the sculptor publicly produced this dubious likeness in dedication to the new Duchess, who was by all accounts a rotund and plain-looking older lady, without a bird on her head, the king was forced to quickly and quietly replace the Duchess with a candidate who bore more similarity to the statue. Villages were scoured for a suitable girl. The royal gamekeeper was ordered to begin perch-training the grouse at once, and the rumour was put about that the new Duchess was somewhat of an eccentric for one so young.

(Statue with no nose)

Wanda Crowsbill.

Wanda was a highly esteemed librarian who implemented a great many innovative systems throughout her lifetime of service, in addition to writing several influential works which remain staples of college syllabuses to this day. Her celebrated work ‘The Ramifications And Repercussions of Extra-Ontological Iteration’ has to date been translated into at least 78 realities, and her insights into the categorisation of para-olfactory phenomena remain especially relevant.

The distinctive nose has been chiselled off of the vast majority of Wanda’s surviving busts and statues. This was done in order to render the artworks unrecognisable, so preserving them from the inevitable backlash resulting from her grandson’s failure to properly maintain the library section with which he had been entrusted. Following his later restoration works the family again found favour, and any representations of Wanda with intact noses became highly sought after. Many of the removed noses have since resurfaced, and an entire industry has arisen around the reuniting of these noses with their original statues.

(Dashing fellow)

Papi Yarmouth was renowned as something of an inter-dimensional lothario, with his roguish charm earning him many lovers, male and female, wherever he travelled. Although not much is known about the particulars of his short life, Yarmouth is believed to have as many as 10 to the power of 12 living descendants, comprising the entirety of many races, and even species. Whilst this genetic similarity does make populations vulnerable to inter-dimensionally contagious viruses and the like, we have to admire the fellow’s spirit.

(Waxwork man & giantess sculptress)

Accounts Manager Nigel Johnston

Nigel Johnston has become totemic of positive change in eighteen separate realities, where major societal uprisings followed his pan-dimensionally broadcast message of strength, unity and self-empowerment. Whilst Nigel always insisted that his team talk was intended to be video-linked through to just three under-motivated work colleagues, this stance only served to increase his popularity.

This Nigel Johnston waxwork is shown here beside its sculptor, the celebrated artist Medge Yarr. Look how pleased she is with how her latest Nigel turned out. She’s clearly thrilled with the level of detail she’s managed to capture. Nigel proved something of a muse for Medge, despite them never meeting in person. She went on to produce very many Nigels in a variety of mediums, in styles ranging from the photo-realistic to the abstract. Most inter-dimensional port cities boast one, although many more are held in private collections. The Nigel watching over these shelves is one of the last she ever cast.

(Crouching woman)

Much of what is known of X can be seen reflected in the composition of this statue. With careful observation and just a touch of guesswork her story can be coaxed from the cold stone surface.

The first thing you will notice is the distinctive pose. She looks like she’s waiting for something, doesn’t she? There’s a certain ambiguity to her posture and facial expression, don’t you think? Fraught anxiety, tension, resignation, or even a hint of excitement? Perhaps some combination of these? We may never know for sure.

What do you think she was waiting for? Was she afraid of it happening, or afraid that it never would?

The Osborne Annals have it that when X was pronounced the chosen saviour of her native reality, it was her humility which lead to her rejection of the fated role out of hand. This is the posture in which she remained, patiently waiting for the true saviour to reveal themselves, right up until the moment of her world’s collapse. The annals report that in the final moments, realising her folly she stood and she wept tears of remorse. Some assert that she had intended this outcome all along, and that they were tears of joy. What do you think?

The statue’s maker seemed to agree with Osborne. Note the large, bare feet representative of humility, the bowed, unimposing posture, the sense of simple honesty denoted by the exaggeratedly broad facial features, and the flat-topped head which can be used as a convenient side-table as the need arises.