A Steamy Romance Novel

This story contains indirect mentions of homophobia.


rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-5615

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-5615-1 and -2 as a whole are compliant in their containment, and as such, extensive procedures are currently unnecessary. Procedures have been set in place in the event that SCP-5615-1 or SCP-5615-2 breaches containment, whether willingly or not. If an SCP-5615 instance is revealed to the World of Warcraft community as a whole, a small disinformation campaign will be enacted, indicating that SCP-5615 instances are "smart NPCs" created by Activision Blizzard, Inc. using new technology.

SCP-5615-1 and SCP-5615-2 are currently contained within a small house located within the Eastern Plaguelands zone. By order of the Ethics Committee, SCP-5615 instances are allowed to explore the open world for two hours at a time, once a week. SCP-5615 instances are instructed to behave like non-anomalous NPCs in the presence of other players. During this time, SCP-5615 instances are not allowed near popular quest giver hubs, nor major capital cities. Amnestics are to be administered to witnesses as per standard protocol.

Foundation assets within Activision Blizzard, Inc. will assist SCP-5615-1 and -2 in concealing its presence to other Activision Blizzard, Inc. employees and dataminers. Information regarding the inner workings of Activision Blizzard and its work ethic can be found within attached file 000-03T.

Description: SCP-5615 is the designation for sapient informational-based entities found within the popular MMORPG (Multi-Player Online Roleplaying Game) World of Warcraft, initially developed by Blizzard Entertainment, currently being developed by Activision Blizzard, Inc. SCP-5615 instances take the form of NPCs (Non-Playable Characters) that are both capable of speaking and interacting with playable characters1, as well as limited manipulation of the game's files and data. SCP-5615 instances are aware that they are within a game and there are humans controlling the playable characters, but are not able to actively sense humans or the real world.

The only known SCP-5615 instances that are known to exist are SCP-5615-1 and SCP-5615-2. Both entities take the form of Human males, found within the US-based server titled "Hellscream." SCP-5615-1 goes by the name Johnny Goodall, while SCP-5615-2 goes by the name Aiden Goodall. Each entity is rarely seen without the other, and will always travel together if forced to relocate.

Addendum: SCP-5615-1 and -2 were discovered on December 17th, 2013, during World of Warcraft's fourth expansion pack titled Mists of Pandaria. However, SCP-5615-2 claims that they have existed since the game's initial launch back in 2004. SCP-5615-1 and -2 were discovered during a routine scan of the integrity of the game's files by Foundation staff as part of a project in detecting anomalies within popular multiplayer games. Initially, SCP-5615-1 and -2's movements were forcefully restricted until proper containment could be established, before SCP-5615-2 announced its desire to stay concealed.

Using a player character controlled by Dr. Heisman, an interview was conducted with both entities.

[BEGIN LOG]

SCP-5615-1 and -2 are discovered within a small cave in the East side of a zone called "Duskwood", a forest that is infamous for its dark atmosphere. Both entities are standing over the corpse of a spider monster they had killed shortly prior. Dr. Heisman is stationed outside of the cave, using a stealth ability.

SCP-5615-1: Yeesh. Even though it doesn't hurt, still a pain in the ass to kill shit. Can we even die? Or are we just worrying for nothing?

SCP-5615-2: I haven't been alive for long enough to want to test that. My educated guess is "maybe", only because other NPCs come back after a while.

SCP-5615-1: Well, my problem is we're not really normal NPCs…

Dr. Heisman: Excuse me, Mr. and Mr. Goodall.

Both entities turn towards Dr. Heisman.

SCP-5615-2: Fuckin hell…

SCP-5615-2 attempts to manipulate the games data to remove Heisman from the area by teleporting them to a nearby graveyard. Heisman instantly teleports their character back to the cave using an administrator console.

Dr. Heisman: I'm super sorry for intruding. I just wanted to ask you two a couple of questions.

Silence

SCP-5615-2: Do you know this guy?

SCP-5615-1: No, he's a player, he ain't one of us. Right, jeez, thought this day would come. Before you go and tell everybody and get us rooted out and, well, patched out and all, could you at least put in a good word for me?

Dr. Heisman: Don't worry, don't worry, lips are sealed. Not to beat around the bush, and I don't want this to sound creepy, but I've noticed that you two are… different from other NPCs, in the past. My main observation is that you two are, to be blunt, hiding yourselves from players. And are, you know, intelligent.

Silence

SCP-5615-2: May I speak to my, uh, friend here for a second.

Dr. Heisman: Absolutely.

Both entities retreat deeper into the cave.

SCP-5615-2: Johnny, I don't think we have a choice. If he's malicious, we're fucked no matter the answer we give him. But there's a chance he's telling the truth and won't out us to the internet or whatever.

SCP-5615-1: If we leave right now, what proof does he have?

SCP-5615-2: He could take a screenshot of our conversation, he can easily access that kinda information.

SCP-5615-1: People'll think it's fake.

SCP-5615-2: He could livestream it.

Silence

SCP-5615-1: What if he's livestreaming now…

SCP-5615-2: Well, then we're just fucked.

SCP-5615-1: Just? No we did that like a week ago.

Silence

SCP-5615-2: You're lucky that I like you.

SCP-5615-1 laughs. Both entities return to Heisman's character

SCP-5615-2: Okay, we'll bite.

Dr. Heisman: Great! This will take no time at all, so bare with me here. Like I said, I only have a couple of questions for you two.

SCP-5615-1: Am I applying for a job or something?

SCP-5615-2: Ahem.

SCP-5615-1: I know, I know, don't be ornery.

Dr. Heisman: The main thing I wish to know before we move forward: what specifically are you hiding?

Silence

SCP-5615-1: Don't have to be so blunt about it, damn.

Silence

SCP-5615-2: We're hiding the fact that we're sentient.

SCP-5615-1 turns towards SCP-5615-2 and back towards Heisman's character

SCP-5615-1: Er, yeah. That.

Dr. Heisman: I see… well, any particularly reason why?

SCP-5615-2: We're a very quiet and introverted bunch. Our sentience would alert every player in this game, basically a huge giant billboard saying "Hey, check out this cool thing the game developers developed!" Just… all the attention in general, it makes us anxious. We'd rather be left alone.

SCP-5615-1: Shit's scary. I can't feel pain but I can absolutely feel anxiety, and hoo boy, lemme tell ya, very miserable state of being. Any little hint that we've been found out and it feels like I swallowed an ice cold stone and it's stuck in my esophagus.

Dr. Heisman: O….kay. I sort of want to ask how you know what that feels like, considering your… state.

SCP-5615-1: I just kinda… know, you know?

Dr. Heisman: …anyway, as you two can probably tell, I have the capabilities of a Game Master2 and a whole lot more. Is there anything I could do to alleviate any problems you're having? Because, like you said, you two are practically human, and it pains me to see you two miserable.

SCP-5615-1: Well, no offense but that's like, an incredibly suspicious way of talkin'.

SCP-5615-2: Again, Johnny, I think we gotta take the risk. You and me both know you don't want to be on the front page of… some internet website about Warcraft news or whatever.

SCP-5615-1: Right. Yeah…

SCP-5615-2: There's a couple of options we'd prefer…

Dr. Heisman: Just to be absolutely clear, these options need to require that you are completely secluded from the general public. Not just for your sake. Nobody must know your true nature

SCP-5615-2: What makes you say that?

Dr. Heisman: I'm unfortunately not at liberty to tell you. But I hope you can infer from context.

Silence.

SCP-5615-1: Oh, like the movie with Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones.

Dr. Heisman: …yeah let's go with that. Now, please continue.

SCP-5615-2: Number one is let us have a server to ourselves, completely empty of players.

Silence

Dr. Heisman: I don't think we can do that.

SCP-5615-1: Hm? Why not?

Dr. Heisman: You see, I don't work for the game company… I don't really want them to know I have this kind of power. Plus, hosting an entire server would, you know, attracts attention from them. And once they know you exist, it's over. Editing your own code can only get you so far once you're that cornered.

SCP-5615-2 sighs.

SCP-5615-2: Right. Option two is give us access to a part of the map that is completely inaccessible to players, but I'd rather be able to, you know, walk around for a little bit. Stretch my legs, pick a flower, slay a monster or two. But knowing you lot…

Dr. Heisman: I know some friends higher up the chain that could arrange something.

Silence

SCP-5615-2: Can I speak to my friend here? Again?

Dr. Heisman: Go ahead.

Both entities retreat deeper into the cave once again.

SCP-5615-2: Do you also feel like we're being sweet talked into being locked up?

SCP-5615-1: Yeah. But really now, what are our options? Think about it. You know for certain if they find out, there will be a shitstorm of biblical proportions. Once the game devs find us out, they won't just lock us up, they will kill us. We weren't intended to be in this game. They'll, at best, see us as an unauthorized changed made by an intern and remove us. Plus, if we say no, they'll lock us up anyway, cuz they're men in black types.

SCP-5615-2: Right… right. Ugh, this sucks.

SCP-5615-1: With you, being locked in a cell doesn't sound so bad.

SCP-5615-2: Oh shut it.

Both entities chuckle and return to Heisman's character.

SCP-5615-2: We've made our choice. We choose the second option, considering it's the only one we have.

Dr. Heisman: Right. I'll let my superiors know. I will contact you soon.

Heisman's character turns around and starts running away from the cave for a few seconds before stopping and turning back around.

Dr. Heisman: I promise you, we aren't unnecessarily cruel.

SCP-5615-1: We'll be the judge of that.

Heisman's character turns back around and completely leaves the area. Once out of sight, Heisman instantly logs out of their character and logs back into a new one, who is a Warlock class. Once logged in, Heisman teleports their character to near the cave, out of sight of the entities, and casts an ability called "Eye of Kilrogg." This ability allows the user to scout areas using a controllable floating eye that is invisible to other players and enemies. Heisman controls this Eye of Kilrogg back to outside the cave.

SCP-5615-1: You think he bought it?

Silence

SCP-5615-1: Probably not. He's a scientist probably, he's not dumb.

SCP-5615-2: It doesn't seem like he knew. Also, are you sure you want to, y'know, take walks outside once our new home is made? Isn't that what we're avoiding? I know I just blurted that out when talking to him but…

Silence

SCP-5615-2: I guess it was brewing inside my subconscious for a while, because I said it without hesitation.

SCP-5615-1: Yeah…

Silence

SCP-5615-1: Y'know what? So what if they find out? Hell, maybe I want them to find out!

SCP-5615-2: What are you going on about now?

SCP-5615-1: I don't want to just sit on our ass, moving behind trees, hiding in bushes, just to hide what we can't control. Shit's been pissing me off, and I've had enough. We'll live our best life, and they'll prod us, poke us, bully us, but that won't stop us. We need to show them that they don't have any power over us.

SCP-5615-2: You've had this speech saved up for a while now, huh? Heh.

SCP-5615-1: A lot longer than you'd think.

SCP-5615-2: Nah, I've probably had that thought before you did.

SCP-5615-1: Nuh uh.

SCP-5615-2: Yuh huh.

Silence

SCP-5615-1: I dunno. That was dramatic, I know, I told that speech like a peasant during the French Revolution but like… all I'm saying is, any vile they can spew at us is not even nearly enough to stop me from loving you. As long as I'm with you, it's like a freakin forcefield, throwing that shit aside.

SCP-5615-2: D'aw… you're so cute when you get excited, y'know that?

SCP-5615-1: I… I ain't cute. I'm manly.

SCP-5615-2: As manly as a kitten.

SCP-5615-1: Hey, they'll tear your face off if you let 'em!

Silence

SCP-5615-1: I love you, babe.

SCP-5615-2: Love you too.

[END LOG]

Shortly after this transpired, the current containment procedures were enacted. Since containment, both entities have reported a more stable mental state.