Born with a Wooden Spoon
rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-5831

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Members from Mobile Task Force Alpha-61 ("Precautions") has been stationed within several high profile hospitals within the United States to prevent information regarding SCP-5831 from propagating. Mothers involved within an SCP-5831 event are to be amnesticized and compensated for any damages the birth may have caused.

Description: SCP-5831 is an anomalous phenomena in which babies (hereafter SCP-5831-1 instances) within the United States are born wearing an article of clothing while holding several foreign objects. More specifically, in 99% of cases, SCP-5831-1 instances are born in a blue and yellow 2-piece suit with a black tie. The SCP-5831-1 instance holds 10k USD held together by rubber bands in one hand, and the key to a 2011 Bugatti Veyron, which manfiests outside the hospital, in the other. This usually causes complications for the birth but the survival rate of the mother and child does not drastically change. These items are not detectable before the mother goes into labor.

Shortly after birth, onlookers will soon realize that the suit is covered with several stains originating from various types of Italian dishes, with the majority of stains being from marinara sauce. The money will be rendered unusable due to damage caused by being submerged within the mother's womb for an unknown period of time. The engine to the 2011 Bugatti Veyron will be missing from the car. In 95% of cases, depending on the SCP-5831-1 instance's sex, the mother will either name them either Kyle or Susan. In all recorded cases, the child will grow up in a below-average household, only obtaining jobs within the fast food or retail industries.

Mothers of SCP-5831-1's instances will usually go through an unsatisfying marriage and attempt to take a break from their spouse to see other people in hopes of a new relationship. The mother will incessantly state to the SCP-5831-1 instance that the subsequent divorce is not the fault of the instance and purely due to the parents not being happy with their relationship. The SCP-5831 instance will state they understand this but have doubts regarding the validity of the mother's claim.