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this is shit

rating: 0+x

Item #: SCP-XXXX

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-XXXX is kept in a secure locker in Site-37. Usage of SCP-XXXX requires Level 3 authorization.

Description: SCP-XXXX is an ordinary toilet plunger. When used to remove a clog SCP-XXXX will transport all nearby individuals to SCP-XXXX-A. SCP-XXXX-A is a large pocket dimension located within the cup of the plunger. SCP-XXXX-A is populated by two types of entities, SCP-XXXX-T and SCP-XXXX-S.

SCP-XXXX-T are sapient, mostly humanoid entities composed of toilet paper. Each entity is made of a singular roll, rolled out to form a hollow toilet paper "skin," with the cardboard cylinder floating in the center of their head. SCP-XXXX-T instances use a variety of toilet paper based thaumaturgic and reality bending abilities in order to fight against SCP-XXXX-S instances.

SCP-XXXX-S are large creatures made entirely out of human feces. Most are quadrupedal, with a large percentage resembling various mythological creatures. SCP-XXXX-S instances are impervious to any know forms of weaponry, but can be heavily damaged by both toilet paper and water.

When transported to SCP-XXXX-A, individuals will often be greeted by a number of SCP-XXXX-T instances, which will implore the individual to assist them in eliminating SCP-XXXX-S instances. The individual is unable to exit SCP-XXXX-A until they either complete this request or die, at which point they are transported out of SCP-XXXX-A.

Addendum 1:

In order to gain a better understanding of what occurs inside SCP-XXXX-A, exploration specialist D-11424 was sent into SCP-XXXX-A and told to document his findings. D-11424 was equipped several days of rations, a camera with 50 hours of battery, and several journals.

Journal Entry 1

Where the hell have you people sent me this time. Why can't I just go somewhere normal for once.

When I got here I was on some sort of pedestal thing, I think. Couple dozen of those toilet paper people around it. I was a bit disoriented but they were pretty chill once I got over the whole "they're made of toilet paper" thing. The toilet paper people took me to see their leader, known as 4-Ply. Apparently whoever is the softest is the one in charge. It took everything I had to not giggle manically like a schoolgirl. 4-Ply told me I can't leave until I help them "defeat the great evil that threatens them all" so looks like I might be here a while. Not all that bad tho.

I can shoot toilet paper out of my hands. Like just aim and peewww, toilet paper. Felt a bit like Spiderman, at least until I fell on my ass. Turns out toilet paper doesn't quite have the same carrying strength as a rope made of spider silk, who knew. Least I won't have to kill any of the locals every time I take a shit tho, eh? Man I hope at least one of you laughs when you read this. You researchers need the humor.

It's nighttime now, or something close to it, I guess. There aren't any stars here, but the water glows. No idea what's up with that, but it's pretty. Apparently tomorrow we're going to go kill some "shit demons." Their exact words, it was hilarious. That was why I fell, 100%. Guarantee the toilet paper would have held if I wasn't dying laughing at a bunch of floating rolls of toilet paper holding spears and talking about shit demons. Man this place is amazing, gotta come back every now and then once i'm done with whatever it is we're doing.

See y'all tomorrow, D-11424 out!

D-11424: Holy fuck.

SCP-XXXX-T-12476: Holy shit, actually. Legend has it that that massive flaming turd was excreted by god himself.

D-11424: …oh.

11424's name: Antonio Marquez.

Rip Sitwell