N/A
Item #: SCP-3930-J
Object Class: N/A
Special Containment Procedures: Individuals assigned to SCP-3930-J are to monitor the S6-C9 perimeter established near Usinsk, Russia, and do their fucking job follow orders from on-site command. Individuals assigned to SCP-3930-J are to be made aware that there is nothing within the perimeter.
Description: SCP-3930-J does not exist. At all. No way. Nope. Nada. Nuh-uh. Negative. Seriously. Stop spreading rumors. Especially you Steve. Fuck off.
The remainder of this file is Level 5/3930 Classified with an excuse to redact stuff Restrictions.
.png)
.png)
Literally just a shot of the wilderness. SCP-3930-J is in there somewhere, I promise.
File Administrator Notice: Only seven living people are able to access this file. It's kinda like those games in first grade you used to play, where you whispered secrets to each other and glanced at some kid, and he'd think you're talking about him? Yea, we're gonna kinda be doing that to everyone. No, you don't have a say in this. Welcome to MTF-Omega-7 ("Cool Kids Club").
Modified Special Containment Procedures, because the standard is boring: In order for personnel to successfully contain SCP-3930-J, they need to understand that SCP-3930-J doesn't exist. If a person believes that SCP-3930-J exists, he should be checked out and reassigned, because he's clearly stupid enough not to know that SCP-3930-J doesn't exist. If they really can't put that idea behind them, even after like Room 101 levels of shit, they're probably not worth keeping alive, anyways.
Also, by the way, despite what any rumors tell you, SCP-3930-J doesn't exist. And I swear to fuck Steve I will terminate you.
SCP-3930-J is to be kept at its location of discovery, because how else are we supposed to contain something that doesn't exist, move it? Yea, I thought so. A circular perimeter about 1 kilometer is to be made around SCP-3930-J to make sure no-one besides the Cool Kids Club knows about it. If you see someone walking towards Site-3930 ("The Secret Hideout"), just kill the fucker. We're all in this together.
Oh, and in case you didn't know, SCP-3930-J doesn't exist.
Description: SCP-3930-J is a whole lot of nothing. Really. SCP-3930-J cannot speak, hear, eat, breathe, be seen, or be flirted with (and believe me, I've tried). Through the use of lots of [REDACTED] and [DATA EXPUNGED]s and stuff, we've concluded that SCP-3930-J doesn't actually exist. I'd say we're pretty fucking sure.
Even though SCP-3930-J does not exist, people still see stuff there, and we have no clue why. Probably because humans are inherently dumb (See Addendum SCP-3930-J-3-FRSHDWNG). As SCP-3930-J does not exist, anything which enters it does not exist, therefore, the existent thing which no longer exists no longer exists due to previously existing in a non-existent area, therefore making the existing thing non-existent due to non-existence existence resistance. And, as we mentioned before, people will see the thing which entered SCP-3930-J as existing, even though it doesn't.
In summary,
- SCP-3930-J does not exist.
- SCP-3930-J does not exist.
- SCP-3930-J does not exist.
- SCP-3930-J does not exist.
- SCP-3930-J does not exist.
In addition, the perception of SCP-3930-J will change depending on how many people view it. I mean, if I was planning to be at a dinner, I'd change my appearance too. It's simple geometry, guys. (See Addendum SCP-3930-J-3-FRSHDWNG).
One last thing, memory forgetti spaghetti1 appears to have no effect on people who are perceiving SCP-3930-J. Too many people viewing it will make it really anxious, and it'll brain-fuck you until you join it in peaceful co-non-existence by jumping in. The maximum amount of people who can view it is ten- and let's be real, that's pretty generous for a socially-anxious non-existent void. Seven people are allowed to research it, two people are allowed to guard it, and one is left over in case some shithead decides to use SCP-3930-J as a fucking VR Headset.
Addendum SCP-3930-J-1: Tragic Backstory
SCP-3930-J's original discovery is unknown, as it is in Russia, and we are clearly a free organization commie bastards. It is believed that the people who discovered SCP-3930-J are dead, as they probably, er, killed themselves trying to experiment with it. Yea, that's what happened. Totally. Of note is the fact that towards the collapse of the Soviet Union, only state scientists were aware of SCP-3930-J, and none of MINION Multiplication Crap2 knew of its non-existence existence.
The total number of people who have viewed SCP-3930-J are unknown, as most are probably dead. However, it is of note that the Soviet Scientists are mostly dead, due to their communism lack of education understanding of economics SCP-3930-J3. When the Foundation found them, most of the team was dead. Believe me, I'm a pretty believable guy. I'm the most believable. If you asked any guy who the most believable guy is, they would say me and then say how amazing I am. And as a very believable man, I say that the research team was extremely dead before the Foundation even came close to the camp. Believe it.
We totally didn't kill anyone to get the containment procedures for this article. (See Addendum SCP-3930-J-3-FRSHDWNG or something).
Addendum SCP-3930-J-2-EX: Exploration Log
As we've mentioned previously regarding the non-existence existence resistance of SCP-3930-J, anything which enters SCP-3930-J does not exist, and therefor, exploration into it is impossible. But, what we can do is make up shit as we go along, and thus, we pretend there's something there, so that this addendum doesn't end up blank. We pretend so hard we even ignore the fact that the radios are screeching "CONNECTION LOST" at us, and instead we pretend that someone's speaking out of it. Three cheers for imagination!
We've gotten our best imaginers, 3930/7/4/1/3 and 3930/7/3/1/4, to talk to D-39307143 after he no longer exists after entering SCP-3930-J. Once D-39307143 ceases to exist, 3930/7/4/1/3 will pretend to talk to D-39307143, and D-39307143 will respond, which will prompt 3930/7/4/1/3 to speak to 3930/7/3/1/4, who will record down the conversation. For the sake of simplicity, 3930/7/4/1/3 will be referred to as 3930/4, 3930/7/3/1/4 will be referred to as 3930/3, and D-39307143 will be referred to as D-1.
[BEGIN LOG]
3930/4: Alright D-1, I need you to start walking forwards. Can you tell me what you see in front of you?
D-1: Dude, you're like, right behind me. Just look for yourself man.
3930/4: Fair point. Please proceed as normal.
Silence.
3930/4: You're about to enter SCP-3930-J. Do you have any last wo- thoughts, I mean, thoughts on the matter?
D-1: Wait, what was that last par-
At this point, D-1 disappeared into SCP-3930-J and ceased to exist. Audio monitoring equipment confirmed that his radio had ceased to function. 3930/4 and 3930/3 begin pretending.
D-1: -t?
3930/4: I'm going to pretend you didn't say that.
Silence.
D-1: Hey guys, there's a motel. Maybe I can get some decent fucking service around here for once.
3930/4: Sweet. Order me some pancakes while you're there.
3930/4 is reminded by 3930/3 that he is making up the hotel and the pancakes do not exist. 3930/4 realizes this and promptly feels disappointed in himself.
Silence.
D-1: Looks like they don't serve pancakes here.
3930/4: Great, now they don't exist on two fronts! What's it take to get some good food around here?
D-1: I-
3930/4: Nevermind, nevermind. Just continue forward or something. I don't care.
Silence.
D-1: Hey, do you hear that?
3930/4: No, what is it?
D-1: I don't know, it's really faint. Like a really good dream after waking up on a Monday, and you're dreading going to work because you know you'll see Jackson there, and then he'll ask for spare change and you'll KNOW you forgot it at home but you'll have to look anyways not to look like an asshole and-
3930/4: Yea yea, we get it. Let us know if you have anything useful to say.
Silence.
D-1: Alright, I booked a night at the Motel. Is the manager supposed to be this big of a dick?
3930/4: Of course. I imagined him like my boss.
D-1: That explains it. (Sounds of shuffling.) This lock is pretty hard to- (Clicking sound.) ah, got it. Anyways, this room is nice. (Pauses) It's got a bed, some (Pauses) TV, nice. Also, bathroom's clean. (Sounds of walking.) Man, the closet is walk-in, comes with complementary clothes. Would be a shame if… (Pauses) Nah, not possible. Also, there's (Pauses) a-
3930/4: Stop pausing all the fucking time, Jesus Christ!
D-1: Hey, I can see you guys from my view. Do you see me waving? Hello there!
3930/4: You don't exist, dipshit.
D-1: …Let me have my moments, okay?
3930/3 says something completely irrelevant. No one cares.
Silence.